"They cited the ever-widening night sky as the impetus for this decision."
— Episode 22: The Whispering Forest
sorry there’s no joke this time but don’t worry we will be resuming your regularly scheduled jokes!
"Who’s Taylor Swift anyway?"
Sylvia Plath (via incorrectsylviaplathquotes)
You’re “engaged” and planning a wedding but you’ve only been dating two weeks and one member of the couple has left more times than Canadian geese flee for winter so this is obviously going to end very well: An anthology of short stories set in my hometown
Lititz, Pa - “Most of the Girls you Kissed in High School Have Kids Now”
(that doesn’t really apply to the reblogged, though)
(the joke is that the reblogged is a homosexual and most of the girls she kissed in high school either were already identified queers at the time or definitely are now)
"Most of the Boys You Knew in High School Are Either Denying Their Child, Their Desire to Escape from the Town, or Their Own Homosexual Urges: the thrilling sequel in the ‘Small Town America is Rotten at the Core’ saga"
(also does not apply to the reblogged)
"A Surprising Amount of Pedophiles: The Story of a Small Pennsylvania Town, and the Grown Men Who Couldn’t Just Not"
Five Band Directors Sleep With Their Students and One Middle School Principal Makes Terrible Remarks to His Students and Is Not Charged With Anything: The Critically Acclaimed Movie Adaptation of the Aforementioned
"Midnight Plane To Indiana: The Story Of That Mentally Unstable Guy Who Murdered The Parents Of The Girl He Was Sexting And Tried To Take The Girl To Another State Like That Was A Reasonable Solution"
Book 7 in the popular YA Series “Why Does This Nightmare Town Exist, Lititz Makes Night Vale Look Safe”